Conceptualization My approach to conceptualization can be attributed to what some call God, a higher self, Om, higher order or Divine energy. The name of the source is not that important, but the process of conscious connection with it, has been of utmost importance in my life. At the beginning of my artistic journey I found it impossible to explain why I drew what I drew or painted what I painted because during that time I was not consciously in touch with the source of self and creation. In order to mentally conceptualize my creations and verbally explain them, I have adopted two different processes which after some time reverse themselves.
First of all, I paint instinctively and with no preconceived ideas and later seek the meaning of those symbols of my creation in a universal language. Then, I proceed to reflect on how those symbols reflected my personal state of being and evolvement at that particular time in my life.
For example, some of my first artistic creations were Picasso-like with strong cubists’ influences, and free hand drawings I did on note cards with ink and watercolor. This was in 2000. At the time I did not even know of Picasso and that he was the “master of cubism” or much about the philosophies and concepts of art. All I knew at the time, was that I was in a place in my life where I could not verbally express myself and that by taking a piece of paper and whatever materials I had around to reproduce color, I was able to express myself freely, not exactly knowing what I was expressing. The process of creation gave me a sense of ecstasy, liberation and detachment from an agonizing reality.
These images gave me a sense of pride and ownership of who I was. Then, I would come up with small quotes for these paintings and drawings, a process that I now reverse. I would take a quote and attempt to create a piece from that specific thought. For the drawing I did in 2000, I used,
“So many choices to make, but you don’t know which road to take”.
These were the words of a 16-year-old, feeling impotent and helpless, yet hopeful. These days my concepts are certainly more streamlined. I have come to realization of the source of my ideas and allow myself to be a tool for that which needs to be expressed. The ideas have been the same from day one, yet expressed in various forms. These ideas are messages of a collective awakening consciousness in the world for inner and outer peace, positive and constructive growth, enjoyment for the play of life, compassion and self realization.
Color
Colors are universal triggers and expressions of emotions especially when we look at colors as varied expressions [or vibrations] of one light, nothing more, nothing less. Thus, the interpretation of colors in my art work or selection of colors for a piece of art becomes a very simple task for me. Because the process of creation for me is intuitive, I am able to simply allow myself to instinctively choose the colors, or even say that the colors choose themselves and in a way allow the painting to create itself.
For example, one of my favorite color combinations lately has been gold and turquoise. This had been instinctive preference which I later found to expresses my current state of being of abundance, growth and realization of my eternal nature. In my research, l discovered that this color combination was highly used in ancient Egyptian times to express abundance and growth. The depiction of pharaohs and images of the afterlife with this color combination is very similar visions of what is in my paintings.
Piece by Piece
Each piece is self reflecting and God/Source/Om expressing. I have done a timeline of my creations and it clearly shows an evolvement and re-birthing that is God/Source/Om realization. The only time this does not apply is when I have drawn things for other people on demand, which I don’t do anymore because it goes against my nature. I have found that aspect of art doable, but not enjoyable. I intend to keep it this way. When someone asks me to create something for them I ask for feedback, but I clearly tell them that they must be open to whatever will manifest and to trust that it will be wonderful.
Teacher Vs Free Spirit
To reconcile the rigor and structure of formal education and the seemingly laissez faire milieu of creative arts is an art in itself. It is almost as if you’re right and left brain most become allies in order to reach your desired goal.
Formal education, at least for me, has always been a means for societal validation and a foundational structure to the rigor of self education. I feel completely capable of educating myself, but understand that if you want to be considered a professional you need that piece of paper. Life as a game and every game has its rules, getting a formal education is one of those rules, getting a ticket or a seal for the outside world to see and for you personally to take the knowledge and use it as a foundation where you stand on and offer what you want to the world. Having an education makes it easier to accomplish your goals and meeting the standards society has set.
Inspiration and Marketability
The first consideration I make is recognition of the inspiration. Right now I am back into painting open butterflies—symbols of development and eternity, which I previously painted sideways.
But, I also reflect a lot on ways that people would approach and perhaps embrace my art. I have noticed that my black and white illustrations are well received. So I have been making inspirational art. My intention is to be able to transform and inspire these artistic spaces. This when I apply my left brain/right brain capabilities by making myself more marketable, in other words approachable while staying true to self.
Clara Angela Diaz is a Dorchester based artist, teacher and translator.
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